Snow. And a lot of it. That is what I'm dealing with today. So since there's close to a foot preventing me from going out to get a cheeseburger... This freezing day is getting a frozen cheeseburger review. I present to you, The Steak-Umm Burger.

Steak-Umm. Your local grocer's freezer section www.steakumm.com/Burgers.htm

The instructions were pretty basic. Fry pan on medium heat, 9 minutes per side. While I waited I grabbed some toppings. Heinz Ketchup, French's Mustard, Vlassic Pickles, Green Leaf Lettuce, Slice of Tomato, Hellman's Mayonnaise, Sargento's Vermont Sharp White Cheddar  and a lightly toasted bun. Put it all together and this is what you get.

That is a good looking burger right? If you answered yes... You would be wrong. These burgers are horrible. Absolutely disgusting. Not even the use of all my name brand condiments could save these pucks. I tried cooking several of them and they all came out the same way. Hard on the outside and raw on the inside. And I followed the instructions perfectly. Maybe they'd be better on a grill, but if that was an option you'd be better off with fresh beef anyway. Do yourself a favor and stay away from these 1/3 lb failures.

Hungry-Man XXL Sandwich: Angus Beef Charbroil

This gem was found in a 7-Eleven freezer so I'm not sure how much truth there is in the "NEW!" that's on the package. Can't help but notice that they won't call their product a cheeseburger on the box.

Wow... This sandwich already looks like a huge failure. Ok so we wrap this Bad Larry in a paper towel and put it in the radiation machine, turn it on, DING! Wait a few minutes and then remove onto a paper plate. Can't help but notice that the bun is rock hard as I take it out...

Yeah, the bun is completely inedible. I decided to cover the burger in ketchup and mustard to try and salvage this mess. Which did not work. I tried to cut it in half with a knife. That did not work. Finally, I removed the bun, threw it away and cut the burger in half so I could try to eat it. I was only able to choke down a quarter of this disgusting beast of a burger. I tried to give piece of it to my dog and I swear to god... He wouldn't touch it! He even seemed mad that I put it in his bowl. 

In conclusion... Don't eat this. Ever. There's no need. 24 Hour fast food joints are everywhere. It may be more convenient to stop at a convenience store, but there's nothing good to be said about this sandwich. You'd be much better off with a Snickers.

That's right! White Castle frozen cheeseburgers! They have to be good... Hell, there was a movie dedicated to their deliciousness. Unfortunately, here in Massachusetts, we have no White Castle restaurants...

Ok so we have 3 packages of two "sliders". Instructions are to snap them apart, open one end of the package and microwave for 60 seconds. Can do!

The first thing you have to deal with when you open the microwave is the smell. They smell horrible, but it's probably just because you should never nuke onions. 

I can't stress enough how disappointed I am with these cheeseburgers. Just look at what's on them! the patty is thinner than a piece of juicy fruit, the cheese had to be sliced by magical elves with tiny knives and there's about 6 bits of onion on there.

These cheeseburgers are horrible, but that's what makes them sooooo good. They are disgusting, but every week I pick up a 6-pack from the store, cook up the whole box and dip them in barbecue sauce while watching re-runs of Two and a Half Men.

Don't buy them thinking you'll get a good meal out of them. They royally suck. Only eat them if you're in the mood to sit on the couch and be a complete slob. You won't feel good after you eat them, but isn't that how you're supposed to feel after a cheeseburger?